Learning Differences, Your Child and School

When we decide to become a parent, little do we realize the montumental responsibility we assume. A child is defenseless and needs someone to teach it right from wrong. How large a responsibility that is can only be guessed at when first contemplating having a child. Learning to be a responsible, involved parent is only achieved through trial and error.

Colleges and vocational training schools can educate on how to excel at professions of our choosing, but there is little to teach us how to be supportive, inciteful parents. Instinctively, we usually know how to care for an infant, how to cuddle, feed, and bathe. We want to nurture and protect our children. We know how to teach right from wrong and good from bad. We know how to teach the fundamentals of accepted human existence and morality. There are the odd classes to support us through these early years and books and magazines to refer to. Then comes the school years. Our attitude seems to change as our children ready for the school experience.

I discovered just how important it is to be involved because my son has a learning difference. It seemed that he and I both fought for his rights within the school system right until the day he graduated. I remember him looking at his diploma and the smile on his face and what he said. "Mom, I worked really hard for this. It's probably the most important piece of paper I'll have ever. I earned it." I was so proud of what he had accomplished, knowing how much he had struggled with dyslexia. It would have been so easy for him to give up. And he didn't.

Today more than ever, parents, the primary caregivers of children, need to be actively involved at all stages with the educational needs of their children. We need to encourage our children. In particular, close attention must be shown when a learning difference has been identified, or a child is marginally learning disabled, but not labeled as such.

"Vast sums are spent to teach academic and vocational skills, but the art of becoming a nurturing parent is left to chance and a few scattered classes." (Briggs, 1975, p. XIII). Each day provides new and unexpected challenges for parents. As each child's personality is different, the needs for involvement on the part of a parent will fluctuate. In some cases a parent's role may require only a hint of "I am here to support you when you need me." Or it may be the need to obtain in-depth information on how and what a child is being taught.

Often, we start by thinking that teachers and educators are all-knowing and understand considerably more than we do about the education and requirements of our children. Although the average teacher will be knowledgeable about educating the average student, what about the student who is not quite average? And remember how many students they are required to work with each day. You may say, "well, they're trained." There are grants that get these schools and these children extra help. Sometimes it's so easy to sit back and just let someone else take the responsibility. Life is just too fast right now. But schools and educators represent but some of the tools needed to educate our children.

This mindset that schools are there to teach our children everything they need to know once they walk though those doors puts our children at risk. The personality of a child must enter into any educational preparation. And the parent is the one most familiar with an individual child's personality. I stress the word "individual," because each of our children is individual, not a statistic. And the only way our children cannot be treated as a statistic is by our full involvement as parents.

"Despite good intentions and training, professionals do not always know what is best for a child" (Greene, 1987, p. 20). This same book supports what I have found to be true through experience and that is that "... non-professionally trained parents who trust their intuition have a far better sense of their child's educational needs than the professional does." (p. 20) This last statement is so hard to believe, but so often the truth. The knowledge we gain from living with a child can give better insight into a situation than all the tests can show on paper.

The interpretation of a test such as the WISC (the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children) which allows a psychologist to deduce a great deal about intellectual potential of a child (Valett, 1980, p. 69) and is often used in identifying learning disabilities in children can be likened to a lawyer using a quotation from a case to support his argument. The lawyer does not always quote a case fully in support of what he or she is attempting to argue. That's because sometimes part of that same case will support the opposing view. Such can be the case when tests are being read to support a particular action in regard to your child. In one or more areas your child may test at average to above average and in another area low or below average. Depending on the situation and the balance of those test scores across the line, certain areas of this test will be emphasized more than others. Take the time to look at the test scores themselves and don't rely upon simple interpretations.

"A child's performance on such a test can be affected by the type of test selected, the personality of the examiner, tiredness, a headache, or a bad cold. A cultural bias could also be present." (Greene, 1987). My suggestion is this:

1. If your child is scheduled for testing, find out the names of the tests.

2. Get to a parent-teacher bookstore or a regular bookstore or even to the library and find out exactly what these tests are supposed to measure. Or do a search online. That's what I did and even some of the teachers were a bit surprised at what I learned.

3. Sometimes independent testing might be in order. I did this through the local college. And I also found an independent tutor in English for my son this way.

4. If a learning difference is identified. Find out more about it. Many times there are organizations that can provide very helpful information. Today you can do a search and discover a lot of information that might be helpful on the Internet.

5. Don't discount everything the school might say, but do weigh what the options are carefully. Do it with knowledge gathered from a broad range of sources. Get a second opinion. Find a healthy way to help your child to succeed.

Knowledge of what is happening in the school system with our children is even more important than ever before. Their self-esteem is paramount to their success and in building healthy relationships. As our children grow, so do we grow. As our children learn, so do we continue to learn throughout our lives. Nurture and protect the child and we secure their future as healthy, responsible adults.

References for this article:

Briggs, D. (1975). Your child's self-esteem. Garden City, NY: Doubleday & Company, Inc.

Green, L. (1987). Learning disabilities and your child. New York, NY: Fawcett Columbine.

Haley, B. (1985). The report card trap. White Hall, VA: Betterway Publications, Inc.